We only have four weeks left in the NFL regular season, and there is still time for this to be anyone’s win in the Five Game Parlay! It was another decent week as everyone was either 3-2 or 2-3 which helped me maintain my lead for another week. Steve and Jonesy were the 2-3 folks, and they will need to finish strong in order to make a run at the top. Kristi and I were both 3-2 and she is definitely in the running for this year’s championship. Bye weeks are officially over so we have a full complement of games to choose from, which I think makes it a hair easier. Now is the time of year when you have to figure who is still playing hard as teams try to make the playoffs and which teams have already packed it in for the year. It is time for December football and the home stretch of the Five Game Parlay! Let’s get to the picks!
Five Game Parlay Week 14
Ryan 38-27 (3-2) @fightingchance
Kristi 31-32-2 (3-2) @shinypompoms
Jonesy 30-34-1 (2-3) @funnyjones
Steve 29-35-1 (2-3) @fantasygeek37
Ryan’s Picks
San Diego Chargers +1 over Carolina Panthers. The Panthers are falling apart, while the Chargers are much better than their record would indicate. Carolina’s defense seems to be preparing for golf in January, while the Chargers still seem like a team fighting for a playoff spot. I’d be happier if this was in San Diego, but I think the Chargers win either way.
Pittsburgh Steelers -1 over Buffalo Bills. The Steelers got off to a really crappy start, but they are starting to get back on track lately. The Bills have been playing almost everyone tough and are still playing hard. They have a pretty solid defense, but I don’t think they have enough to stop the 3B’s and I see the Steelers winning this one by a touchdown or more.
This season looks like it is going to finish in the wrong direction in Miami
Arizona Cardinals +1 over Miami Dolphins. I’m sorry, but I’m just not buying this Miami team. I know they went on a nice winning streak but I’m calling FRAUD on this one. Sure the Cardinals have sucked something awful this year in maybe being the biggest disappointment this year. However, David Johnson is THE MAN all by himself and should have multiple scores against Miami. The Cardinals aren’t great, but the Dolphins shouldn’t be favored here and I like the Bird Squad to win this one outright.
Washington Redskins (pk) over Philadelphia Eagles. I think the Redskins are a legitimately solid team, and I think the Eagles got off to a good start but can’t sustain it. They are having a hell of a time trying to run the ball, and it looks like Carson Wentz’ Hall of Fame induction speech is going to have to be postponed for now. Both teams need this one to keep their playoff hopes alive, but give me the ‘Skins in a wild NFC East game.
New England Patriots (-7) over Baltimore Ravens. This one is simple for me. I don’t think that the Ravens can score enough to keep up with the Pats. I know the Baltimore defense is very good, but its TOM FREAKING BRADY! The Pats are going to win this one, and I think it will be sort of easy.
Kristi’s Picks
I am not all that impressed with Random.org’s picks this week, but considering I went 0–5 when I thought too hard about it, I better not. These are some ugly picks! I’m going to get spanked.
Denver Broncos (+1) over Tennessee Titans. For Denver to have a chance this week they are going to need Trevor Siemian to play. Their backup quarterback, Paxton Lynch, just isn’t good. Tennessee will be rested up after their Bye last week. If Siemian starts, this will be a good game to watch.
We predicted the Panthers to go back to the playoffs this year buuuttttttt………
Carolina Panthers (-1) over San Diego Chargers. I have no idea why Carolina is giving a point to the Chargers. Cam is certainly not playing like last year’s MVP. Carolina has a deficit on their Defense too after Luke Kuechly suffered a major concussion. San Diego is the better team. Random told me to pick the Panthers though. Hopefully Cam will wear his Mad Hatter hat again and pull a rabbit out of it for the win.
Houston Texas (+6) over Indianapolis Colts. Granted Andrew Luck is the better Quarterback, but the Jet’s blowout was not unexpected. The Jets Defense stinks. Houston’s is better. Spread looks generous so this is doable. If Lamar Miller is healthy enough to play the full game, I like this a lot more.
Buffalo Bills (+1) over Pittsburgh Steelers. Picking Buffalo here being given only a point makes me cringe! Especially since this line has gone up. That said, the weather forecast in Buffalo is calling for snow showers and a bit of wind. I know The Geek often reminds me to pay attention to that so hopefully the snow starts early for Buffalo. They will need it to have any chance at slowing Ben Roethlisberger and Antonio Brown.
Los Angeles Rams (+6) over Atlanta Falcons. I fully expect the Rams to get totally cream puffed by the Falcons. Matt Ryan, Devonta Freeman and Julio Jones are going to put up a lot of points. The Rams have an Offense that simply is not playing well. No idea how they cover this. Maybe Random is just broken this week! I’m going to stick with it though and keep my fingers crossed.
Jonesy’s Picks
Denver Broncos (+1) over Tennessee Titans
Baltimore Ravens ( +7) over New England Patriots (Jonesy picks against his Pats????)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (- 2.5) over New Orleans Saints
Washington Redskins (PK) over Philadelphia Eagles
Indianapolis Colts (-6) over Houston Texans
I’ve had many embarrassing hobbies in my lifetime. I played Dungeons & Dragons from the age of 12-15 or thereabouts. I even created my own D&D adventures with maps and storylines and the would act as Dungeon Master, guiding my cousins through the realm I’d created. Imagine! This was BEFORE marijuana!
I love me some wiffleball too Jonesy!
Wiffleball was a thing for me. And I went deep with that. Even to the National Wiffelball World Series in Waltham Massachussetts played inside a miniature replica of Fenway Park. We were kids at the time and we were crushed by serious professional adults that take Wiffleball way too seriously and whom I’d bet haven’t been laid to this day.
For awhile I ran a Youtube channel that was all videos of me lipsyncing to old school (mostly 90’s) R&B music. This still exists and if you can find it it’s a treasure trove of clips of me performing Jodeci with my shirt off. If I ever get famous I will have to delete that channel entirely or suffer some wretched blackmail.
Share some of your own embarrassing hobbies with us. It’s fun. And shameful. We love shameful.
Love
Jonesy
Steve’s Picks
Atlanta Falcons (-6) over LA Rams. A Jeff Fisher-led team is going to be able to hang with the high scoring Falcons? Hahahahaha. I hate Jeff Fisher. I hate the boring Rams. The Falcons will blow out the stupid Rams, 38-6.
Green Bay Packers (+3) over Seattle Seahawks. I’m only picking this one for one reason. The Lions will self-destruct, and part of that will require the Packers to win a few games in order to steal the division from Detroit when the two teams meet in Week 17. Simple math. Lions lose a few games. Packers win a few games. Packers take the division and once again the fans of the Lions are spending time crying in the shower.
Washington Redskings (PK) over Philadelphia Eagles. You heard it here first…Kirk Cousins will be the quarterback for Ryan’s San Francisco 49ers in Week 1 of next season! Yup. He’s third in the NFL in passing yards, the number seven fantasy quarterback, and he will finish the season off strong to showcase himself for quarterback needy clubs next season. Carson Wentz is heading in the opposite direction of Cousins and I think this one is Washington’s to lose. Buh Bye Colin Kaepernick and Blaine Gabbert…hello Kirk Cousins!
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-2.5) over New Orleans Saints. The Bucs have been playing great football on both sides of the ball over the last month, while the Saints have now lost three of their last four. Drew Brees isn’t the same quarterback on the road that he is at home, and with Mark Ingram banged up, I think this is setting up for a Jameis Winston-Mike Evans kind of week. We are going to hear the cannon on the pirate ship fired early and often as the Bucs take one step closer to sailing into the post-season.
Arizona Cardinals (+1) over Miami Dolphins. The Cardinals have only allowed one team to rush for over 100 yards on them this season, so I fear it will be another long week for Dolphins running back, Jay Ajayi. Patrick Peterson will likely shadow DeVante Parker and I’m not sure the Dolphins have enough other firepower to even keep this one close. I’m not worried about travel being an issue and Arizona should win this one by a touchdown or so and keep their slim playoff hopes alive.
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