I often call this group that picks the games the Fantastic Four, even if we don’t always live up to it. However, in Week 12 of the Five Game Parlay we did just that as all FOUR of us picked FOUR of the five games right. I may have rushed everyone to get the picks in before the Thanksgiving games, but maybe the fact that we had less time to dwell on and think about the games was the reason we did better! I would have loved to have put more distance between me and these three clowns, but I guess I will just have to keep the pedal to the medal and my foot on their throats as I try to hold my lead. It won’t be easy though as I have three great competitors going against me who have kept this fun all season. As we head into December we will separate the contenders from the pretenders, and find out who will be the ultimate champion. Without further ado, here are the standings and the picks. As always, please follow us all on Twitter.
Five Game Parlay Week 13
Ryan 35-25 (4-1) @fightingchance
Kristi 28-30-2 (4-1) @shinypompoms
Jonesy 28-31-1 (4-1) @funnyjones
Steve 27-32-1 (4-1) @fantasygeek37
Ryan’s Picks
Denver Broncos (-4.5) over Jacksonville Jaguars. The battle of the quarterbacks who are holding his teams back, Trevor Siemien goes against Blake Bortles. I actually have more faith in Bortles than I do Siemien, but the Denver defense is good enough to win the game himself, while Jacksonville isn’t really good on either side of the ball. It is a few more points than I want to give with a road favorite, but it seems logical that Denver wins by a touchdown.
It has been a much better season than expected for the Lions but I think they will lose this week
New Orleans Saints (-5.5) over Detroit Lions. Are the Lions really a team that is going to win their division? Seems like a long shot to me. This one definitely has shootout written all over it, and that plays into Drew Brees lap. I’m not entirely sure why I am going with New Orleans here and am questioning the pick as I type, but it just feels right. It just feels right.
San Francisco 49ers (+2) over Chicago Bears. The 49ers are so bad that they are even going to screw up the draft order next April. They have one win and the Bears have two. What better way to get a later pick in the draft than by beating a team that is just as bad as you. Watch San Francisco win this game and maybe cost themselves a couple of slots in the NFL Draft in the Spring. It’s just their way, always ruining everything.
Baltimore Ravens (-3) over Miami Dolphins. The Dolphins offensive line is all banged up and the running game has struggled in the past couple of weeks. They struggled to beat the crappy 49ers last week. It’s a bad time for them to face the Ravens who may be the best run defense in football. I think Miami is going to have a hard time scoring and I expect the Ravens to win by 10
Pittsburgh Steelers (-6) over New York Giants. I might be wrong, but I think the Steelers are better than they have been playing, and the Giants aren’t as good as they have been playing. I’m a little skeptical to give a full six points, but I have a gut feeling that Pittsburgh wins this one by a touchdown, likely by Le’Veon Bell.
Kristi’s Picks
Jacksonville Jaguars (+4.5) over Denver Broncos. Denver blew it last week so hey, why not again? Who cares if the defending Champs have one of the best pass Defenses in the League and Blake Bortles will probably choke? Ryan is a sly cat staying up there in First. This week he chokes too. I kept up with you guys with Random.org. I think it’s my only hope! So yes, I am using it again.
Atlanta Falcons (-3.5) over Kansas City Chiefs. Atlanta should be able to cover this at home. Matt Ryan, Julio Jones and Devanta Freeman will get it done. Speaking of getting things done, I’m thinking about this business of Jonesy’s. You know you can grow marijuana anywhere right? Just got to hook up the basement with some hydroponics and growlights. Beer Pong is good. Bong Pong is good. Maybe a reality show? Celebrity Beer Pong or Parents versus their College Kids? Let me know, I’ll watch.
After a great start, the Eagles are starting to fade
Cincinnati Bengals (+1.5) over Philadelphia Eagles. This game is not looking too promising. I almost feel bad for the Coach of the team that loses. Do you know what else does not look promising? The Geeks ability to save his family during the Apocolypse, or perhaps an extended power outage. I have an entire backpack ready to go including camping gear, knife with flint, water purifier, fishing line.. the basics. Make some traps or snares. Try not to get caught in them yourself. I find a hunting rifle works quite well. If all else fails, move to the woods somewhere warm and enjoy bark and berries.
Oakland Raiders (-3) over Buffalo Bills. Derek Carr has some great talent to work with. The Bills are going to struggle to keep up. Jonesy, Professional Beer Pong is interesting. Other ideas are possibly starting a Faux Santa Charity. You know, the kind where you dress up as Santa, ring the bell like the Salvation Army Santas and than just take the money home. I mean, screw those guilt ridden people being hypocritical. Giving money to some stranger, dressed as Santa, thinking they are helping the needy and poor. You have needs too. They just do it to make themselves feel better anyways. They don’t even believe in Santa.
Pittsburgh Steelers (-6) New York Giants. The Steelers had a mini off season to rest and heal up. Eli Manning versus Ben Roethlisberger should make for a good game to watch. Especially if you want to watch the Giant’s lose. The Giants may be on a winning streak, but the Steelers are better than the teams they have been playing. Oh, on the cell phone service thing, Steve, if a little kid and a tiny alien were able to make a phone to call another planet in another universe, in the 80’s, you’ve got to be able to MacGyver something. You’re The Geek!
Jonesy’s Picks
It has been a great season for Jonesy as he has had some good weeks and he has had some bad weeks. He has let his girlfriend pick some games, he has been searching for an adopted baby from another continent, and he has reminisced about some times from his past. He is changing location again this week so he had to give us a quick bunch of picks without a story or fun to go with them. I know he will be back next week with his usual shenanigans but for this week here are his games.
Atlanta Falcons (-3.5) over Kansas City Chiefs
Green Bay Packers (-6.5) over Houston Texans
Baltimore Ravens (-3) over Miami Dolphins
Washington Redskins (+3) over Arizona Cardinals
Carolina Panthers (+6.5) over Seattle Seahawks
Steve’s Picks
Indianapolis Colts (-1.5) over New York Jets. What do the Colts do the best? Pass the ball. What do the Jets do worst? Defend the pass. Andy Luck returns this week and I predict he will throw for four scores in this Monday Night Football contest and lead the Colts to victory.
Washington Redskins (+3) over Arizona Cardinals. The Cardinals could be one of the most disappointing teams of the year. Many predicted they would make the playoffs, but at 4-6-1, their hopes of making the post season are becoming slimmer than my hopes of winning this stupid, competition. I hope the politically incorrect team smashes the Cards!
Oakland Raiders (-3) over Buffalo Bills. Last week I went 4-1 with sharing the things I hate. Well, I want to add one more to thing the list and and say that I hate Bills head coach, Rex Ryan and his Mark Sanchez tattooed ass. His foot fetish, loving wife will have to give him a toe job (what the hell is a toe job?) to help him get over his loss this week to the Raiders.
Been a rough year for the 49ers, but Steve thinks they will win this one
San Francisco 49ers (+2) over Chicago Bears. No Jay Cutler (or Brian Hoyer) , Alshon Jeffery, Kevin White or Zach Miller is a tough loss to overcome and the Niners will make them pay this weekend. Love him or hate him, Colin Kaepernick has been playing very well and I don’t expect the likes of Matt Barkley and Marquess Wilson to repeat last week’s impressive performance. This one will make Hallam happy, as the Niners cruise to a victory in the windy city.
New Orleans Saints (-5.5) over Detroit Lions. Here’s something interesting. The Detroit Lions have played 11 games and are a NFC North leading, 7-4. Do you know how many of those games the Lions have trailed in, durning the fourth quarter? Every single damn one of them! If they do that against Drew Brees in the Super Dome, their magic is going to run out and they will be shown for the frauds that they really are. Saints win this one 42-24.
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