It’s now Week 10, and we are past the halfway point of the season and are slowly running out of time to catch Ryan in the Five Game Parlay competition. Fear not though…it’s not in Ryan’s constitution to lead for this long. It’s only a matter of time until he chokes (like he does his chicken) and gives way to a new leader. Here are this week’s picks and once again, make sure to follow us on Twitter!

Ryan 25-20 (@fightingchance)
Kristi 21-22-2 (@shinypompoms)
Steve 21-23-1 (@fantasygeek37)
Jonesy 18-26-1 (@funnyjones)

Ryan’s Picks

Los Angeles Rams (+2) over New York Jets. The Jets are seeming to become more dysfunctional by the week in what promised to be their best season in a while. The Rams aren’t very good either and the Jets seem poised to stop Todd Gurley, but somehow I see the Rams not only covering, but winning.

San Diego Chargers (-3.5) over Miami Dolphins. I have a real hard time giving more than a field goal to anyone with the Lightning Bolts, but I’m gonna do it here. The Dolphins have become completely one dimensional, and if the Chargers can shut down Ajayi, they should be able to win. I’m really scared about that extra half point, but let’s go with it.

Arizona Cardinals (-13) over San Francisco 49ers. In the beginning of the year my team was at least competitive before they lost, but that seems like a long time ago now as they are getting blown out on a weekly basis.  A solid Cardinals team coming off their bye should be no different. David Johnson could run for 4,000 yards in one game!

New England Patriots (-7.5) over Seattle Seahawks. This is another one that I don’t like that half point hanging off the side, but I’ve been watching Seattle the past couple of weeks and they clearly aren’t the same team as a couple years ago. On the other side of the field, New England is the same team as the last decade, and that’s really, really good. Seattle is going to have to figure out a way to run the ball if they want to stand a chance in this one.

Dallas Cowboys (+2.5) over Pittsburgh Steelers. I almost picked Cincinnati here instead, but I decided to stay on the Cowboy Train. Until I see a chink in the armour, I’m gonna keep going with Dallas. Every time they have a statement game they keep answering the call, so I’m gonna say that they do it again against a very good Pittsburgh team.

Kristi’s Picks

Kristi’s step dad may claim to be a Cowboys hater, but I have a feeling he may be a closet fan.

SNAGGED! What a week. There was the Election, followed by a half remembered Tequila and Martini and Rossi fueled bombardment of Jonesy on Twitter. (blush) Thanks for being a fun friend Jonesy! Then finally, I almost got disowned by my Stepfather Eric, for admitting I liked watching a Dallas game for reasons other than to root for them to lose.

I had to redeem myself quick! I like rookies Dak and Ezekiel, but that wasn’t going to fly. Eric loves to hate Dallas! I eventually found my “in” when he said “You’re in New England, if you are going to be a fan of another team, at least make it the Patriots!” Phew. The Patriots are my distant second favorite to our Dawgs. I’m not a Dallas fan. I just stopped rooting for them to lose. They’re on the very bottom, right after the Pittsburgh Stealers, The Not the Browns and the Bungles! He reluctantly gave me a pass I think. I had called to wish him Happy Birthday. In his honor this week, I will be rooting for Dallas to lose and definitely not picking that game.

Green Bay Packers (-2.5) over Tennessee Titans
Green Bay isn’t going to lose a third straight game, least of all to the Titans. Starks is expected to return limited this week, giving Ty Montgomery more run around time for Aaron Rodgers. Packers defense should be able to limit Titans, DeMarco Murray. If this turns into a passing contest between Aaron Rodgers and Marcus Mariota, Green Bay owns this easy… Oh and Dallas sucks. *Woof*

Atlanta Falcons (+1) over Philadelphia Eagles
Carson Wentz isn’t getting much help out on the field. He’s going to be pressured by the Falcons defense and dump it. Julio Jones is going to go off the hook. Eagles do better at home but no way they are going to be able to keep up… Speaking of Pressure, Dallas sucks because a sportscaster with half a dozen names, John Thomas Ralph Augustine James Facenda, referred to them as America’s Team back in 1978 highlight film. I was three. *Woof*

San Diego Chargers (-3.5) over Miami Dolphins
San Diego got dissed last Tuesday when voters rejected funding for a new stadium downtown. I’ve seen this proposal. You need to make more room in your plans for tailgating. It’s the second best part of going to see a live game. People need a place to go back to and drown their tears if you blow it. Miami’s, Jay Ajayi and San Diego’s Melvin Gordon will be fun to watch run around… The Dallas Franchise was not happy with just being America’s Team back in 1978, they continued releasing DVDs bearing the Title of America’s Team. Dang it Dallas! There are 31 other teams in the NFL. You’re killing me *Woof*
New York Jets (-2) over Los Angeles Rams
If the Rams didn’t have Case Keenum for a quarterback, I’d pick them. Unfortunately, LA has Keenum who probably won’t be able to take advantage of the Jets lame, passing defense. I’d probably get more excited for a root canal than this game. Speaking of root canals, it hurts less to dislike Dallas than get disowned, so please stop calling yourselves America’s Team so I can watch Dak and Ezekiel with less guilt. If Romo comes back, it will be boo central. *Woof*
New Orleans Saints (-2) over Denver Broncos
Broncos are struggling without CJ Anderson. Several players on defense are injured. Denver has earned the 2nd most penalties in the league this year. Between Drew Brees’ arm and the Saints rushing game, they can outperform Denver this week… I love football and all of America’s teams. I love my Dawgs most of all. Right before we hung up, I got brave and told my Stepfather, “Dallas isn’t America’s Team since we all do have our favorites, but at least they stood for the National Anthem.” I do enjoy watching Dak and Ezekiel still… but Dallas it’s a Family thing and you’re not allowed into the Dawg House! *Woof*

Steve’s Picks

So beautiful, Ryan…

Carolina Panthers (-3) over Kansas City Chiefs. This game sets up very nicely for the Panthers. It’s at home, they are coming off a bye, and the Chiefs weakness is their pass defense that Cam Newton should be able to exploit. On the other side, the Panthers have the third best run defense in the NFL which is the Chiefs’ best weapon. I don’t see Alex Smith being able to pass much on the Panthers secondary, especially with Jeremy Maclin out, so this one could turn into an ugly game. Kinda like Ryan’s face. Carolina 27. Kansas City 17.

New Orleans Saints (-2) Denver Broncos. If anyone can beat up the Broncos secondary, it’s Drew Brees at home. I can see New Orleans moving the ball well, both in the air and on the ground in this one, whereas Trevor Siemian and Devontae Booker have not inspired confidence in me. I am as sure of this one as the country was confident that Hillary would beat the Donald on Tuesday. New Orleans 34. Denver 20.

NY Jets (-2) over LA Rams. Quite honestly, you couldn’t pay me any amount of money to watch this shit show. This has the lowest implied total in the NFL this week and I see it being a low scoring affair. The fact that it’s a home game for the Jets and that they have a really good run defense and should be able to bottle up Todd Gurley, has me leaning toward Gang-Green. Give me the Jets in a game which should as ugly as Siler’s face. NY Jets 17. LA Rams 13.

Atlanta Falcons (+1) over Philadelphia Eagles. Matt Ryan is making a case for the league MVP and with the Eagles having a weak secondary, Matty Ice might be able to rack up the stats against Philly. I don’t think rookie, Carson Wentz will be able to keep up, just like Jonesy can’t keep up in this competition. Atlanta 34. Philly 24.

Green Bay (-2.5) over Tennessee Titans. Green Bay can’t run the ball, but they sure as hell can pass it. I’m hoping that’s enough. I honestly don’t feel great about this one, but I don’t like any of the other options, so might as go with this one. I don’t have an insult for Kristi, so I’m going to go with old reliable and call her a cotton-headed ninny muggins. Thanks Buddy! Green Bay 27. Tennessee 23.

Jonesy’s Picks

After another appalling week of predicting the balls of foot, I asked my uncle Roger for help this week. These are his picks.

Uncle Roger really, really wanted toned legs, but couldn’t afford it until the riots broke out. Thanks Rodney King!

Uncle Roger is an interesting guy. He lived with midgets in the 1950s and sold drugs to movie stars in the 70s. He once lit a draft house on fire to protest the Vietnam war. He was arrested for kidnapping a grown man who owed him money. He’s looted jewelry stores duing LA riots, been shot at and he’s even been to the Oscars. Roger is an example of how to life live and he did so during an America that’s no longer. Sure, it’s now legal to smoke weed recreationally in a few states, but back in the 60s and 70s it was like the wild west. You could get high, steal a car and drive over a PTA mom and maybe they’d catch you… Maybe.

Good luck, guys.
Jonesy

Denver Broncos (+2) over New Orleans Saints
Minnesota Vikings (+3) over Washington Redskins
Arizona Cardinals (-13) over San Francisco 49ers
Dallas Cowboys (+2.5) over Pittsburgh Steelers
New England Pats (-7.5) over Seattle Seahawks

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