We have moved to the last three weeks of the NFL season, and that means the Five Game Parlay is coming to a close. What isn’t coming to a close yet is the drama as a hot streak by any of the three players chasing the top can tighten the standings really quickly. Steve was the biggest winner in Week 14 as he won four of his five picks, and has climbed his way out of the basement which he has inhabited for a while. One big week and Steve is a half a game out of second place. That’s how fast it can turn in this game. Can Steve go on a major roll and claim this thing? Kristi won just two last week, but she remains in second place. She’s gone with random.org to make her picks the last few weeks and it hasn’t served her poorly. She is looking to hit three good weeks and challenge for the top. Funny man Jonesy has found himself in Steve’s basement, but he is just a game back from second place, and will be looking to make another historic run this year to another title. They are all chasing me, and after going 2-2-1 last week, my lead has shrunk a little but I’m still in first. However, I know how hard it is to win this thing so you won’t see me celebrating this week.
As the Fantastic Four head into the last three weeks, here are the standings, last week’s results, and this week’s picks!
Ryan 40-29-1 (2-2-1) @fightingchance
Kristi 33-35-2 (2-3) @shinypompoms
Steve 33-36-1 (4-1) @fantasygeek37
Jonesy32-36-2 (2-2-1) @funnyjones
Five Game Parlay Week 15
Ryan’s Picks
New England Patriots (-3) over Denver Broncos. Denver’s pass defense might be great, but no one shuts down Tom Brady. Not only that, but even if Denver is able to keep Brady under wraps, they have been awful against the run. LeGarrette Blount has been better than any of us thought he could be. Denver doesn’t have enough offense to hang with the Patriots, and I think the Pats win this one semi-handily.
It’s been a nightmare for the Niners since Jim Harbaugh went to Michigan
Atlanta Falcons (-14) over San Francisco 49ers. My 49ers have been an unmitigated disaster this season as they sit at 1-12 on the year after blowing a 17-3 lead last week. The defense is just awful, so to see them face the best offense in the NFL this week is just downright scary. I might be a little more nervous about this one if it was in San Francisco, but with Atlanta at home on the fast track of their indoor home stadium makes me think this line isn’t large enough. This could be a 42-10 type game.
Oakland Raiders (-3) over San Diego Chargers. This one is close because I like both teams, but let me tell you why I am picking Oakland. The Chargers have a lot of talent, but in the end they have nothing to play for outside of being a spoiler. The Raiders are in a dogfight not only for the division, but also for the number one seed in the AFC. The Chargers have a solid offense but not much defense and I am looking for the Raiders to win a tight one, but by enough to cover this number.
Pittsburgh Steelers (-3) over Cincinnati Bengals. There is no love lost between these two teams, and I’m sure the Bengals would LOVE nothing more than to deal the Steelers a painful loss with three weeks left. However, Pittsburgh is on a ridiculous roll right now, and their offense is just too much for the Bengals to deal with. I expect this to be a physical game, but in the end the Steelers will be able to score enough points to win by six to ten points.
Baltimore Ravens (-6) over Philadelphia Eagles. The Ravens have everything to play for as they are fighting the Steelers for the AFC North, while the Eagles are freefalling to end the season. Philly has injury after injury on offense, and the Ravens defense is a dominant group. After starting 3-0 the Eagles are 5-8 and after this one they will be 5-9.
Kristi’s Picks
I am impressed with Random.org’s ability to pick two seriously crappy picks I never would have chosen to win, that actually won. Cam Newton pulled the rabbit out of his hat and got a win. That said, I am grateful I do not have to defend picking a full lineup of crappy picks this week. Random was kinder. I was concerned thinking of ways I could possibly defend the Browns or the 49ers. Phew.
Chicago Bears (+6.5) over Green Bay Packers. Matt Barkley has played great the past two weeks. Aaron Rodgers missed some practice with his leg boo boo. I am equally concerned he could freeze in place if he gets too comfortable in the pocket. I am going to watch this one while drinking hot coffee. Pretty sure I will be able to feel the cold from the couch.
Cincinnati Bengals (+3) over Pittsburgh Steelers. I am not thrilled with this pick in a division match up. It looks like A.J. Green will be out again for Cincinnati. The Bengals may have won their last two games, but the Steelers are better than the Eagles and Browns. Maybe Big Ben will have butter fingers again on the Road.
Baltimore Ravens (-6) over Philadelphia Eagles. Kenneth Dixon should have fun running around. I don’t see the Eagles winning this one, but I like Carson Wentz. I am having a hard time thinking the Ravens are going to win by this much. It doesn’t matter because I still have no idea what I am doing. I’m picturing Edgar Allen Poe writing Lyrics with Don Henley and Glenn Frey.
David Johnson is doing his part, but Kristi thinks that Carson Palmer will screw it up for the Cardinals
New Orleans Saints (+2) over Arizona Cardinals. Outside of the David Johnson highlight reel, this game looks boring. Drew Brees has looked pathetic the last couple games. Carson Palmer should just hand the ball to Johnson a lot because he keeps forgetting which team he plays for when he throws it.
San Diego Chargers (+3) over Oakland Raiders. Derek Carr has something to prove this week. After embarrassing himself in the Raiders ugly loss to Kansas City, zero interceptions aren’t impressive when they come with zero touchdowns. He has had time to rest and contemplate whatever happened out there. Raiders could be eliminated in the AFC West if they lose this week. Maybe Charger’s Phil Rivers will catch a break against Oakland’s sub par defense. Recently it has looked like he wants to compete with Ryan Fitzpatrick for helping opposing teams catch the ball.
Steve’s Picks
Tampa Bay Bucs (+7) over Dallas Cowboys. Don’t look now, but Tampa Bay has won five games in a row and playing great football! Dak hasn’t looked as sharp as he did earlier in the season, while the Bucs defense has looked very good as of late. Doug Martin and Charles Sims add a nice one two punch to Tampa’s offense, and I think the Buc have Jerruh Jones walk the plank and make the grumbles for Tony Romo grow louder.
It’s gonna be cold this week in the NFC North and the Bears look to deliver a “fatality” to the Packers playoff hopes
Chicago Bears (+6.5) over Green Bay Packers. This game projects to be a sub-zero (finish him!!!), blustery winter day in Chicago, and to me, that spells it could come down to who has the better rushing game. Give me Jordan Howard over the Packers running back mess any day of the week! This could be a low scoring affair and I think six and a half points is way to large of a spread for the Pack to cover. Plus, if the Bears win, it makes the Lions’ path to the playoffs that much easier!
Arizona Cardinals (-2) over New Orleans Saints. Drew Brees has now thrown a total of zero touchdowns and six interceptions in his last two games…ouch! It’s well documented that he plays much better at home than on the road and that doesn’t bode well for him as he travels to Arizona and faces one of the best pass defenses in the league this week. Mark Ingram is banged up and David Johnson and company should have no problem with the Saints defense. I seriously wouldn’t be surprised to see the Cards win this one by two touchdowns.
Minnesota Vikings (-4.5) over Indianapolis Colts. I just don’t see the Colts moving the ball effectively against this stingy Vikings defense. Luck is banged up, Donte Moncrief may not play, and Frank Gore is 49 years old and has to be ready to rest on his rocking chair this late in the season. The fact that the game is in Minnesota makes it even that much more attractive to me and I predict the Vikes win by a touchdown.
Tennessee Titans (+5.5) over Kansas City Chiefs. I’m picking the Titans to win this game for one reason…because I picked Tennessee as my upset pick to make it to the playoffs. A win by them, paired with a loss by Houston, would put the Titans in the drivers seat to win the AFC South. I want to be able to pat myself on the back and say how smart I is, so go Titans!!!
Jonesy’s Picks
Buffalo Bills (-10.5) over Cleveland Browns
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+7) over Dallas Cowboys
Houston Texans (- 6) over Jacksonville Jaguars
Pittsburgh Steelers (-3) over Cincinnati Bengals
Minnesota Vikings (-4.5) over Indianapolis Colts
If an Alien came down from a far away galaxy and had to choose one human specimen to take back as representation, as an example of a near perfect human, an example of the highest human potential, it would obviously be… Tom Brady.
I know there are a few of you that will disagree with me because your judgement is simply clouded by jealousy and that’s understandable. You always hate the handsome high school quarterback that dates the prom queen. Let’s get past all that and ask ourselves, what would an Alien race learn about the human race by studying the great Tom Brady? Here’s a list I came up with:
Have you ever witnessed a more perfect man? Jonesy clearly has not
- A perfectly sculpted dimpled chin that leads to marrying supermodels.
- A highly evolved brain with upper level analytical speed and decision making allows him to expertly execute everything Bill Belichick asks to be done.
- A super confidence leading to shamelessly starring in UGG boot commercials without regret.
- A hypnotic smile. A smile that allows him to charmingly handle a ferocious media on a week to week basis AND impregnate a television star and then say “bye” and nobody seems to hate him for this.
- Overly competitive yet still a gentleman combination. He can occasionally bend the rules without putting others in physical danger and get away with it.
An Alien race can learn a lot about human potential by studying the greatest living human that’s alive and living. Let’s hope this isn’t the week they choose to abduct Terrific Tom because, even if you hate him (jealousy), we all want to see him go up against that Denver D this week. It should be an exciting game for lovers and haters of the perfect human.
Good luck, guys.
Jonesy
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